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charleygan

至尊木虫 (著名写手)

chlgan


[交流] The Guys' Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
    Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.


Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that?

It's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!

[ Last edited by 兰蝴蝶 on 2010-7-1 at 20:12 ]
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xia_chong

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引用回帖:
Originally posted by sunflower3127 at 2010-07-01 08:21:27:
I'm speechless.

me too thought I am a boy.
Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves!
4楼2010-07-01 09:16:08
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goodbox

至尊木虫 (职业作家)


小木虫(金币+0.5):恭喜抢沙发,给个红包
absolute talent. i fule you!
命里有时终须有,命里无时莫强求!得意不要忘形,失意不要灰心!物竞天择,适者生存!
2楼2010-07-01 08:02:10
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xia_chong

金虫 (文坛精英)

优秀版主

Congratulations!



Early Worms Get Coins!



charleygan



You are awarded 5 coins as your post ranks 4 today!



Thank you for watering in Speak English !



You are welcome to give more posts! !






link : http://muchong.com/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=2142540&fpage=1





Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves!
5楼2010-07-01 09:45:41
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