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    1¡¢°Ñ¾äÖеıíÓïת»»Îª²»Í¬µÄÐÞÊÎÓï¡£ÀýÈ磺  
    Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab
.
    Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (ת»»Îª
ǰÖö¨Óï)   
    Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (ת»»Îª²¢
Áнṹ×÷ºóÖö¨Óï)  
    2¡¢½«×÷±íÓïÓõÄÐÎÈÝ´Ê»òÃû´Ê±äΪÐÐΪ¶¯´Ê¡£ÀýÈ磺  
    1) Weak: The team members are good players.   
    Revision: The team members play well.   
    2) Weak: One worker's plan is the elimination of tardiness.   
    Revision: One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.   
    3¡¢ÔÚÒÔ¡°here¡±»ò¡°there¡±¿ªÍ·µÄ¾ä×ÓÖУ¬°Ñ¡°be¡±¶¯´ÊºóµÄÃû´Ê´ú´Ê±ä³É¸Ä
д¾äµÄÖ÷Óï¡£ÀýÈ磺  
    1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.   
    Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.  
    2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered.  
    Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.   
    ¶þ¡¢¶àÓÃÓïÒâ¾ßÌåµÄ¶¯´Ê£¬±£³Ö¾äÒâ¼ò½àÃ÷ÁË¡£ÀýÈ磺  
    1¡¢Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.   
    Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.  
    2¡¢Poor: She is a careful shopper.  
    Better: She compares prices and quality.  
    Èý¡¢¾¡Á¿ÔËÓÃÖ÷¶¯Óï̬¡£ÀýÈ磺  
    1¡¢Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.  

    Better: Charity has supported the organization.  
    2¡¢Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.   
    Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.  
    ËÄ¡¢·ÀֹʹÓÃÓïÒâÈß³¤ÀÛ׸µÄ´ÊÓï¡£ÀýÈ磺  
    1¡¢Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.  
    Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.  
    2¡¢Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow   
    your recommendations.   
    Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation
.  
    3¡¢Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry
laboratory caught fire.  
    Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory
caught fire.  
    4¡¢Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different
stores.  
    Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.  

    Îå¡¢¶Å¾øÀÄÓó¾ɴÊÓï»òÄѶ®µÄרҵÊõÓï¡£ÀýÈ磺  
    1¡¢Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.   

    Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.   
    2¡¢Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures
next fall.  
    Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures
next fall.
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