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¡¡¡¡ÖÂÃü´óåe£º ¡¡¡¡"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10." ¡¡¡¡"Qualifications: No education or experience." ¡¡¡¡"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." ¡¡¡¡"My compensation should be at least equal to my age." ¡¡¡¡"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." ¡¡¡¡"Fired because I fought for lower pay." ¡¡¡¡"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6"5" . ¡¡¡¡"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date." ¡¡¡¡"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near." ¡¡¡¡"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word "paranoia." I prefer to elaborate privately." ¡¡¡¡´ò×ÖåeÕ`ÅcÕZ·¨åeÕ`£º ¡¡¡¡"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." ¡¡¡¡"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." ¡¡¡¡"I am a rabid typist." ¡¡¡¡"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981." ¡¡¡¡"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work." ¡¡¡¡"Accounting cleric." ¡¡¡¡"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments." ¡¡¡¡"Suspected to graduate early next year." ¡¡¡¡"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." ¡¡¡¡"Proven ability to track down and correct erors." ¡¡¡¡"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." ¡¡¡¡"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." ¡¡¡¡"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school." ¡¡¡¡²»‘ªÓеÄÓÄĬ£º ¡¡¡¡"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house." ¡¡¡¡"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.) ¡¡¡¡"But wait...there"s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature." ¡¡¡¡"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." ¡¡¡¡"My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job"-and I like your company in particular." ¡¡¡¡"Title: Another resume from the "Profiles in Excellence" series." ¡¡¡¡"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it." ¡¡¡¡"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks." ¡¡¡¡"Let"s meet so you can "ooh" and "ahh" over my experience." |
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