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yangsc.06b

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[交流] 帮忙看下这段翻译是否合适（截至09年8月9日）

帮忙看下这段翻译是否合适（截至09年8月9日）
The time dependence of p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT concentration is given in Fig. 3. During the first 20days, the p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 5% Fe0 decreased dramatically and then the declining rate gradually became slower. However, the quantity of p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in treatment without Fe0 had no apparent change during the first 20days (Fig.3). After 20 day, The p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 5% Fe0 had experienced a slight decline. In contrast, The percentage degradation of p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 0.5% Fe0 and 2% Fe0 is far below the percentage degradation of p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 5% Fe0 during the first 20days. After 20 day, The p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 0.5% Fe0 and 2% Fe0 had experienced decline.

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pitlord999

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The time dependence of p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT concentration is given [shown] in Fig. 3. During the first 20days, the p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 5% Fe0 decreased dramatically and then the declining rate gradually became slower [became slower gradually]. However, the quantity of p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in treatment without Fe0 had no apparent [obvious] change during the first 20days (Fig.3). After 20 day[s], The [the] p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 5% Fe0 had [remove had] experienced a slight [minor] decline. In contrast, The percentage degradation of p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 0.5% Fe0 and 2% Fe0 is far below the percentage degradation of p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 5% Fe0 during the first 20days. After 20 day[s], The p,p′-DDT and o,p′-DDT in the treatment with the addition of 0.5% Fe0 and 2% Fe0 had experienced decline.