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[交流] 中国作者论文写作中的常见句法错误-长句的不合理使用

长句的使用是很多作者常常会犯的错误,误以为句子越长,越能展现英语的功力。其实不然,在科技论文写作中,更讲究的是句子简短明了,意思清晰。你,是不是中招了呢?

多个内容同时放在一个句子中表达因为英语具备句尾开放性,英语的句子一般较汉语长(陈宏薇 2004)。即便如此,一般知名度高的科研期刊并不欢迎包含很多复杂长句的稿件,因为科研论文的主要宗旨是清楚明白地传递科研信息,使读者快速高效获取科研资讯。因此,写作时要尽量避免用一个句子表达多层意思,或一次表述多件事物(魏尔清 2009)。

例12

误例:MPM hasmultiple advantages: it eliminates the possibility of damaging the skin whencompared with WCM, and it's a more simple technological flow compared with HuHuaxin’s method; it is a technology that is safe andeasy to perform; as indicated by the quality control test, accurate results canbe obtained via different personnel after a short training period.

改为:MPM hasmultiple advantages. It eliminates the possibility of damaging the skin whencompared with WCM. Also, it's a more simple technological flow compared with HuHuaxin's method. Furthermore, it is a technology that is safe and easy toperform. Lastly, as indicated by the quality control test, accurate results canbe obtained via different personnel after a short training period.

例12 中的误例十分冗长,给阅读带来了较重的负担。修改后的句子将原句拆分为了五个小句,并适当添加连接用语明确各句之间的逻辑关系,更加清楚、自然、易于阅读。一个内容嵌套在另一个内容中表达使读者更难理解的是在同一个句子中,一件事物中隐含着另一件事物(魏尔清 2009)。这需要读者花更多的时间来理清不同事物间的逻辑关系。

例13

误例:A sampleof 10 healthy women who were exclusively breastfeeding their babies (age 8~23weeks old) was studied.

改为:A sampleof 10 healthy women was studied. All subjects were exclusively breastfeedingtheir babies (age 8~23 weeks old).

例14

误例:We beganby performing needs analysis of some visiting scholars who returned from theWestern countries in the affiliated hospitals of our university to identifytheir major needs.

改为 :We beganby performing needs analysis. We interviewed some visiting scholars who work inthe affiliated hospitals of our university and returned from the west toidentify their major needs.

修改后的两个句子把隐含在另一件事物中的内容抽提出来单独成句,易于读者理解。

如何判断一个句子是否是长句?实际上,通过句子的长度可以辨识句子是不是长句——超过60个单词就是长句。但是,一个句子如果表述的内容过多从而使得论点变得不清晰,即使没有那么多单词它也是长句。通过限定每一个句子只说明一到两个话题,可以避免文章出现过长的句子,注意which, that的用法,若容易产生误解,请另起一段。总之,我们要尽量让句子简洁明了,意思清晰。
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