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英语作文修改--提供好的意见就有奖励
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请高人帮忙修改一下：urbanization in chinaSample Text Urbanization, as the inevitable result of human social and economic development, is one of important phenomena nowadays in the world. In one country or area, it can promote the economic & social structure, urban & rural distribution and production & life style to qualitatively change. Moreover, in different country & area or different historic period, it can also form different characteristics of impetus and development. Actually, urbanization has shown the evolution of regional social & economic, so the degree of urbanization has become not only the important symbol of the economy, society, culture and science level in an area or a country, but also showed the degree of social organization and management level. The urbanization is a necessary way to the development of human, and only after baptism of urbanization, human civilization can come into more brilliant time. In China, the urbanization means the progress that traditional rural society based on the agriculture is changed to Modern urban society based on the industry and service trade. Concretely, the progress is to change rural population to urban population, rural way of life to urban way of life and rural economy to urban large-scale production. The urbanization degree of China has risen from 17% to 45% since the reform and opening-up. But it is still under the world average (more than 50%). Although it contributes good influence into people’s life and development of economy, there are many problems in this progress. Consequently, it is an important significance to advance the urbanization reasonably, which is also the main content of Scientific Concept of Development. Firstly the urbanization has improved people’s life. After the development of urbanization, more and more people in country moved into cities to go to school, look for jobs and join up. At different positions they have learned various knowledge and technology, and enhanced their income. For example, the income of farmers planting paddy is ￥6000~8000 every year, but civilian workers repairing the road have the income not less than ￥10000 every year. With the enrollment expansion in universities, many students in country have chance to access to higher education, settling registered permanent residence in urban and becoming urbanites. Nowadays lots of people living suburb become urbanites because of spread of city and have the welfare equal to the original inhabitants. Meanwhile, the development of urbanization also promotes economic development. One of urban form is to magnify the quantity and space of city, namely change the county and town around big city to parts of the city. For example, with the adjustment of national policies, coastal towns such as Yiwu City, Wujiang City get more opportunities to develop their economy. Now Yiwu is famous as the base of small commodity and Wujiang is known as the “Land of Silk". Big Shanghai has 18 Districts, parts of which have been county. At the wheel under the urbanization, the government of Shanghai City takes the advantage of its finance and technology, and stimulates common prosperity of all Districts, linking the characteristic of every District itself. Now every district has own industrial park. In spite of the urbanization gives so benefit to people’s life and economy, there are a lot of questions at the same time. Enormous population movements cause great stress to the environment, which leads the decline of life quality. People increasing from country get little welfare about insurance and medical treatment. There has less measure to care their children and educate them. In addition, the government of many cities often occupies arable land unconditionally to build factory, which brings on great conflict between government and farmers. Consequently urbanization like this is harm for Social stability We can see from above that the urbanization is the purpose of social development, but we can not ignore the process. As the saying goes “can’t eat hot tofu impatient”. So the urbanization in China must be boosted slowly. Based own characteristic, every government of cities should build city scientifically, and solve the problems timely. Only doing this, we can enjoy the lives by the urbanization. |
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5楼2009-04-01 09:16:15
lief
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turbo_tan(金币+2,VIP+0):Thank you 3-31 08:55
telomerase(金币+27,VIP+0):劳动所得，请收下！！ 4-2 22:02
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很好的文章！白璧微瑕如下： look for jobs and join up 建议改成： look for jobs or join up which leads the decline of life quality 是否改为： which may lead the decline of life quality |
2楼2009-03-30 17:12:36
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turbo_tan(金币+1,VIP+0):Thank you 3-31 08:58
telomerase(金币+20,VIP+0):劳动所得，请收下！！ 4-2 22:02
turbo_tan(金币+1,VIP+0):Thank you 3-31 08:58
telomerase(金币+20,VIP+0):劳动所得，请收下！！ 4-2 22:02
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is one of (the) important phenomena; The urbanization is a necessary(an essential) way; human civilization can come into more brilliant time(come into one more brilliant era); But it is still under the world average (more than 50%)(under the average level of the whole world which is more than 50%); Although it contributes (some )good influence into people’s life and development of (the)economy, there are many problems in this progress(the problems that arose along with this progress are neglectable.); Consequently, it is an important significance(it is of important significance) to advance the urbanization reasonably, which is also the main content of Scientific Concept of Development. End of the first paragraph. |
3楼2009-03-31 02:36:12
4楼2009-03-31 17:25:43
