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YoungPP

木虫 (正式写手)

[求助] 英语作文,请求指点,修改已有2人参与

On aging soceity
   In recent years,China has been reported as the aging nation by many media.Generally speaking, the aging issue become the common phenomenon in many countries,especially in Europe,like Sweden,Greek and so on.There are several reasons of the aging problem which draw  more and more attention of people.
    Firstly, there may not be enough labour to do the necessary jobs.It is indeed hard for me to imagine that the society would not run normally for the lack of young people.Secondly,the young will suffer great pressure to take care of their old parents.In the country like China,it used to be forbidden to get one more child.So the only son or daughter have to take all the burden,not only financial but also mental,to look after their parents.Lastly, more elder is not good for the development of society.For much more money and energy should be devoted in welfare or healthcare to keep the old an ease life.It's not only the liability we need to take,but also a heavy rock on the shoulder which would make you stifle.
In my standpoint, it is the high time for us to take measures to relieve the worse situation.On one hand,we must try our best to tend the elder with comfortable life ,on the other hand,the government should take action to enhance the born rate and offer more job suitable for the old who still want to work.
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mac194

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【答案】应助回帖

Your real concern is NOT aging, but universal health insurance (全民健保)

Please read what I wrote here:
  https://muchong.com/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=6990393&authorid=2488597
2楼2016-04-01 11:08:15
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辛小匚

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★ ★ ★ ★ ★
YoungPP: 金币+5, ★★★★★最佳答案 2016-04-06 12:16:22
1 第一行拼写:society
2 ","后一般要加空格
3 the aging nation 建议将nation换为country
4 the aging issue become 主谓一致! 应是becomes
5 Secondly,the young will suffer great pressure to take care of their old parents.
care for和take care of均为短语动词,均可表示“照料”,“照顾”,但用法有别;care for是较正式用语,一般只用于人;而take care of是普通用语,可用于人或物。care for 通常跟自己不能照料好自己的情况,比如 She spent the best years of her life caring for her sick father.和Doctors and nurses care for the sick.
6 So the only son or daughter have to... 独生子女可以用the only child 来表达,另外在通常情况下,两个并列主语由or,either...or,neither...nor,not...but,not only...but (also)等连接时,其谓语通常与第二个主语(即临近的一个主语) 保持一致 From: https://www.hxen.com/grammar/zhuwei/2011-07-11/148879.html所以本句中建议用 has
7 For much more money and energy should be devoted in welfare or healthcare to make the old an easy life.建议将easy换成comfortable,更符合英语的表达习惯
8 On one hand,we must try our best to tend the elder with comfortable life ,...
on the one hand.定冠词缺失,tend the elder 为中式英语表达,建议改为care for elders
3楼2016-04-02 09:48:31
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渊博震天

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Yeast Display

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引用回帖:
3楼: Originally posted by 辛小匚 at 2016-04-02 09:48:31
1 第一行拼写:society
2 ","后一般要加空格
3 the aging nation 建议将nation换为country
4 the aging issue become 主谓一致! 应是becomes
5 Secondly,the young will suffer great pressure to  ...

好厉害

发自小木虫Android客户端
4楼2016-04-02 13:01:45
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渊博震天

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Yeast Display

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引用回帖:
3楼: Originally posted by 辛小匚 at 2016-04-02 09:48:31
1 第一行拼写:society
2 ","后一般要加空格
3 the aging nation 建议将nation换为country
4 the aging issue become 主谓一致! 应是becomes
5 Secondly,the young will suffer great pressure to  ...

好厉害

发自小木虫Android客户端
5楼2016-04-02 13:02:15
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陈科君

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6楼2016-04-02 16:51:01
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匿名

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7楼2016-04-04 13:59:05
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843992180

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引用回帖:
3楼: Originally posted by 辛小匚 at 2016-04-02 09:48:31
1 第一行拼写:society
2 ","后一般要加空格
3 the aging nation 建议将nation换为country
4 the aging issue become 主谓一致! 应是becomes
5 Secondly,the young will suffer great pressure to  ...

holy high!

发自小木虫Android客户端
蒸蒸上,日日新
8楼2016-04-04 23:10:42
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