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伤心无意

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[交流] How do you choose between cities and rural area?

Hallo everyone! Since I wrote the former article several days ago, many friends gave me precious and pratical opinions on it, which makes me so moved. Today I`ll write another article and you`re welcome to discuss it. Here it the topic:
　In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years. But some others think everyone should be free to choose where they work .Discuss and give your own opinion.
It is common that educational and medical resources are concentrated in cities. This phenomenon poses an adverse effect on national development as rural area will develop much slower than the cities. To solve this problem, some people suggest that new teachers and doctors should work in countryside for sometime, while others think that it should be decided by themselves where to work at. These two opinions are both inappropriate to some degree.
To begin with, if new teachers and doctors are forced to work at rural area, they may feel that their rights are violated. As a result, they may be reluctant to work normally. Further, students will be less willing to study educational and medicinal majors because these two professions will seem less promising compared to other professions.
If the authorities entirely let new teachers and doctors to choose their work place and carry out no regulations, problems will also arise. Students who are willing to sacrifice for the nation are just minorities. Contrary to that, most of them will choose to work in cities, especially for the excellent students. The number of volunteering students will far below that of rural areas need, which is bad to the development of these areas.
As far as I can see, several actions should be taken by the government. Firstly, policies that encourage graduate students to work in rural areas should be carried out, such as paying them more than average, or offering them more opportunities of promotion after working in cities. Secondly, the awareness to help others and sacrifice for the nation should be enhance among students who are still at school. Only in this way can we minimize the gaps between cities and rural areas.

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1楼 2014-03-14 22:34:06

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liluseu

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Dear Author， please allow me to have some discussions with you on your composition.
FIrstly ,your sentence structure is well organized except for some inexact words or some spelling errors,such as(1)themselves where to work at,(2)will far below that of rural ,(3)should be enhance.
Secondly, your sentences should be fined enough to sound like academic. For example, you can use 'harmful' or 'a barrier to' instead of 'bad'
Thirdly, some opinions are not fullly or explicitly conveyed via your sentences, for example, 'Students who are willing to sacrifice for the nation are just minorities' , as we all know, whether you work in rural areas or cities does not mean whether you sacrifice for our nation or not. You can not judge one's contribution to his nation just by his workplace, I think it is not scientific.
The above opinions are only my own thoughts. It may not be accurate. Welcome to have deep discussions with me!
Thank you for your good composition!
Best wishes for you!