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小木虫论坛-学术科研互动平台 » 科研生活区 » English Cafe » Diary » i don't have my own life here
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befair

铁杆木虫 (正式写手)
Reading your post I could see in front of me a very confused soul.  It appears you do not think you are good enough for the job and yet you are too passive at work. Is it so that you somewhat had to do this job, which you neither had motivation for doing it well, nor felt you were capable of doing it?  If this is the case, it seems we have a contradiction: if you were keen about the job, you'd be motivated to work actively and hard and even if you do not feel you are competent enough, you'd do your best to improve yourself, right? Else if you were not keen on this job, why did you take it at all? I know I am in no way in the position to give advice, but perhaps you need to rethink of the job - if it is worthwhile for you, do it well and do your best; if not, find something else for a change.
You mentioned a big decision that seems to balance your friends+mother against your job+bf and has been torturing you. It would not be proper for me to give any specific advice but I wish to mention just a few things:
1. You may have new friends - old friends who may drop off due to your decision (assuming it well meant) are probably not truly good friends anyway
2. You may have other jobs - no one will hang himself/herself on on the very one tree
3. You may likely have more boyfriends - again if your current one indeed loves you, he should support your decision (as long as it does not hurt your relationship so much that it risks to break)
4. You have only one mother - if your mother meant well and it is not principle wrong, listen to her and  even if she may not be right, do not put her on the other side of your bf
Yes what I write may sound too comfortable for me and too hard for you, but do have a VERY BIG perspective of your life. Do not get your eyes mudded by the things in front of you, look beyond horizon. Remember when you learnt to ride on a bicycle, if you try to look just in front of you, you will fall/wobble  but once you look afar you will ride straight and steady.
All the best
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Befairorbeaware
11楼2013-11-02 20:54:26
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flyingidea

木虫 (正式写手)

半路出家
Try to change your mind and your attitude, To do what you can do;
maybe you can find a new life.
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学：贵在坚持;教：知之为知之，不知为不知。
12楼2013-11-02 21:06:37
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凉生

新虫 (正式写手)
do.anything you want ,if something don't belongs to you ,just give up,there's no necessary to let our life full of sorrow and upset,live for yourself

[ 发自手机版 http://muchong.com/3g ]
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13楼2013-11-03 07:37:15
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jingya_wang

新虫 (初入文坛)
I have had the same feeling once. During my university, i had joined a teamwork about programming iphone games. Although i'm not the better one,even the worse one. I never want to give up strangely. Firstly, if you believe that you can,you should insist. If you cannot believe yourself, there is nobody supporting you. We cannot lost self-confidence. The persons who we determine to protect are parents, i think. Just i think so. You can give yourself more time to think over. I wish that you will generate a new thinking about that. Good luck to you.
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14楼2013-11-03 10:46:00
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cbfq0223

木虫 (正式写手)

金牌木虫
take a break, renew you life.
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别为失败找理由，要为成功找方法。
15楼2013-11-03 12:01:26
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xxf0796

铁虫 (正式写手)
most of us are in the same situation,we can not change the world but ourselves.Best wishes  !!!!
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16楼2013-11-05 08:42:29
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