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aman1987

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[交流] Handling Complaint。。。。。。。已有8人参与

Handling Complaint

We complain about other people’s driving, smoking, taking sides, assuming too much, not listening, being moody, not doing what we want, never putting anything away.

We avoid saying how we really feel because we might offend people, lose our job, lose their friendship or lose their approval. Or we might worry that it could make things worse, creating a “them and us” situation.

Sometimes we leave it so long, it becomes too strong an emotive issue to talk about. Holding on to unexpressed feelings such as fear, anger, resentment, irritation, despair or annoyance can lead to uncontrolled outbursts of emotions, severe depression or physical illness.

People often use insults to express pent-up emotions, but insults put people down. If the purpose of giving criticism is to make them think about what they’re doing, and correct what they are doing wrong, then you need to respect their self-esteem. Knocking them down only generates a defensive reaction.

It is more constructive to develop an assertive response. Listen to what change they’re wanting you to make, ignore the put-down. Consider the circumstances or the context and use humour, it helps to put things in perspective.

pent-up a. 被关闭的，郁积的
put things in perspective 把事情办好

打发抱怨

违章驾驶、吸烟、偏执、自以为是、漫不经心、喜怒无常、行为乖张、乱丢乱放，都使我们抱怨不已。

但我们不去表达自己的真实感受，因为我们不愿得罪人，不愿因此失去工作、失去友谊和别人的赞许。或者，仅仅因为我们不愿把事情搞糟，造成一种“他们和我们”泾渭分明的疏远状态。

有时这样的抱怨沉积下来，久而久之就成为一种强烈的情结，也就更不愿当众说出来了。像恐惧、气愤、怨恨、烦躁、失望、懊恼等情绪，如果长期闷在心里，则会导致突发的情绪失控、严重的抑郁、甚至身体上的疾患。

人们经常通过侮辱对方来排解受压抑的情绪，但是，侮辱会使双方尴尬。如果批评他人的目的是让他反思他的所作所为并改正错误，那么，你就必须尊重他的自尊心。把人一棍子打倒只会使人奋起反击。

更具建设性的办法是做出满怀自信的反应。倾听他人要你做什么样的改正，把打击抛之脑后。根据具体情况和环境，发挥幽默感，这样有助于把事情搞定

[ 来自科研家族梦里的棉花糖 ]

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1楼 2012-06-27 16:03:35

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aman1987

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引用回帖:

6楼: Originally posted by 木蟲至尊 at 2012-06-27 18:36:34
Consider the circumstances or the context and use humour, it helps to put things in perspective.