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fungixx至尊木虫 (文坛精英)
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sorry,I finally complain here~
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These days, probably because I haven’t much experiments to do, or probably after so many things happened, perhaps it’s urgent for me to afford some time to prepare or plan for my own future. What can I do now? How can I graduate smoothly? How can I make my fortune? Can I find an appropriate job? Will I live happily?  But , please allow me complaining this~ Except of some interesting episodes and some close friends and teachers, the college life seems blurred to me increasingly. Because of my major and low status of my university, it sounds if I want to succeed, I have no choice but to become a postgraduate. Almost everyone in this university will take part in the national entrance examination for postgraduate, so me also. That time I really didn’t think much about its rationality, I am just a follower, I don’t have much my own thought. With diligent study, finally, I was admitted by my dreamed university. Yes, at the beginning of my postgraduate life I did think I could make an excellent performance here. Maybe the god just did not favor me much. Everything went smoothly, except for something my experiments. More exactly, what I had done was just for other’s graduate, they did appreciate what I had done and they did say lots of words appraise me. But it just didn’t make too much sense since I had not published my own paper as the first author during my undergraduate period. It is really ashamed of me whenever I think of it. It is not what I have done that can’t be able to write one paper, it is what I have done was used to help one of our lab’s doctor to receive his doctor’s degree. It was shaped the time I was enrolled by that lab, it was a doom. This really made me have no courage to become a doctor in this lab, although this could save a year if I transfer from a master to a doctor in the second year. What made me feel a little comfort was what my tutor said at thesis defense for master’s degree, “XX, have done lots of work, he could even have done more than a doctor ”. I should not deny I did had a good time there, I got along well with my lab-mates , classmates and roommates, and now I always visit them in my spare time since the two cities aren’t far from each other. This will be unforgotten memory  .Privately speaking, I always have done well in the experiment, I once successfully did an experiment in two weeks that others have not worked out for about three months. This really made me feel a sense of achievement. That time I felt maybe I should further my study and receive my doctor’s degree, but not here, though this lab was very well, I just felt it was some unfair to me. So in the third year, I applied for two university to get my doctor's degree, and successful passed the two exams with high scores due to diligent study. Facing with two choices really tortured me for many days, at last I chose XH. Maybe choosing XH and giving up ZD still makes me regretful greatly since it does not goes well here, more exactly, very bad.  Perhaps, It’s time to mention he now. I really don’t want to talk much about him, because I always respect him. He just always breaks his words. Because we didn’t choose tutors before interview, and after the first test, my scores was 31 points higher than the number 2 student .In order to keep me in his lab, he once told me he would give me a very good thesis, and I would publish papers with very high impact factor to lure me to enter his lab. Though I made some indirect survey from one apprentice sister of his lab, now I must say I know him too little from her and her opinion really stands for her own opinion and it contains her own feelings. Because the reality is the most convincing thing. He just broke it without any sorry. In the first semester, he told me after I have done one little experiment to improve my skills, he would give my own thesis. Three months late, he told me the classes was very important, you should focus on your classes this semester. I had got a very good topic for, but I would give it to you next semester. He just broke it once again, he told me you should improve your ability in isolation and identification primary cells from a new born rat in three months. FC, I can do that in my break time, he just wastes my time. I am really wordless. Too many time, I want to tell him if you don’t have any thesis for your students why did you enroll students. I really don’t want to listen to his promises anymore that I will publish how many papers and how high impact factor, but it sounds he really enjoys it, what a shit! It is not other fault, it was my choice. If I chose….maybe I would not be so tired….but there is not if  .I know I must move on. As the old saying goes “There is no use crying over spilt milk”. I just want to graduate smoothly. I will still work hard, and doing my best to carry out what I have to do. But probably I don’t believe him anymore  .Life is precious, cherish what you have. You know some still suffers from deep water and hot fire. @Cherimoya [ Last edited by fungixx on 2012-3-9 at 16:10 ] |
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fungixx
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