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wchm7125

金虫 (小有名气)

应助: 0 (幼儿园)
金币: 642.8
帖子: 108
在线: 83.9小时
虫号: 905902

[交流] 英文自我介绍修改求助

以下是我写的考研复试的自我介绍，还请牛人帮我看看行不行，帮我把错误的地方修改下。谢谢了！

Dear professors,Good morning.it is my honor to be here today. First let me introduce myself briefly. My name is XX ,Jane is my English name.I am a senior student of the Department of Environment & Life Sciences ,in XX University ,and my major is Applied Chemistry. During my college years，I have made a great progress in many areas. I worked very hard，and obtain scholarships several times.
In my spare time,I like reading .I think the relationship between books and me just like fish and water. As Francis Bacon has said: Studies serve for delight, for ornament, and for ability. In addition, I enioy myself in music, running and climbing mountains. All thses are good ways to relax myself. Because of surfing the internet frequently, I am quite skillful in searching for information which I believe is a crucial point for a man to be successful in modern society .
Following with the professor Chen in the past year,I did some basic academic research which really delighted me. Then I decided to scuttle off down the further study. I think I am studious, analytical and disciplined.Well,Achievable goals - the first step is to self-improvement, and I am really eager go get the chance for further Study in Fuzhou University. I hope I can build up a systematic view of Analytical Chemistry， especially in the fields of electrochemical in future study.
I would be grateful if you can give me the chance. Thank you.

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1楼 2011-03-29 22:38:26

已阅回复此楼关注TA 给TA发消息送TA红花 TA的回帖

Mally89

铁杆木虫 (职业作家)

wchm7125(金币+5, 翻译EPI+1): 谢谢您的建议。 2011-04-02 09:50:03

Good morning，everybody! it is my honor to be here today.

First I wanna introduce myself briefly. My name is XX ,Jane is my English name.(Ithink the English name is useless since you do not major in English)I am a senior student of the Department of Environment & Life Sciences ,in XX University ,and my major is Applied Chemistry.

During my college life，I have made a great progress in many areas. I worked very hard，and obtain scholarships several times.(我认为这里你既然提到a great progress的话应该说一些具体的例子)

In my spare time,I like reading .I think the relationship between books and me just like fish and water. As Francis Bacon has said: Studies serve for delight, for ornament, and for ability. （你可以给出一本你喜欢看的书，可以稍作评论）

In addition, I enioy myself in music, running and climbing mountains. All thses are good ways to relax myself. Because of surfing the internet frequently, I am quite skillful in searching for information which I believe is a crucial point for a man to be successful in modern society .

Following with professor Chen in the last year,I did some basic academic research which really delighted me. Then I decided to scuttle off down the further study. I think I am studious, analytical and disciplined.Well, Achievable goals - the first step is to self-improvement, and I am really eager to go get the chance for further Study in Fuzhou University. I hope I can build up a systematic view of Analytical Chemistry， especially in the fields of electrochemical in future study.

I would be grateful if you can give me the chance. Thank you.

又问题的我帮你改过了，你对照一下，但是我有些小建议给你，我之前参加过几个学校的面试，我是生物专业的，我觉得你的这个自我介绍不是太完美。老师一般会比较喜欢听一些具体的东西，比如你的爱好，有什么具体的例子啊、评论啊、看法神马的。。。然后你说你去年做的科研，你可以具体说一下具体做了什么，你学了什么，掌握了那些技术，我觉得这些比较重要。而且老师如果对你感兴趣的话会针对你的介绍提一些自己的问题或看法，其实大部分老师都是不听了。。。还有最后一点建议，我觉得你的这个介绍不够口语化，我觉得可能大部分时间你都是在背，所以到时候面试的时候你可能一紧张出问题~

个人建议，希望对你有帮助吧！~好运！！！

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