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yanglinast

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[交流] 【Original】Relationship between you and me!

I called JA after work today, this is the first time we speak to each other outside our company. I feel terrible about this and I hate it, but nothing I can do would change the fact.

This is a question of the relationship between male and female, i don't know what is your opinion, but i really found it difficult to keep it after the marriage. I was once thought I can be close friend with DY, one of my good male friend at college forever, like the ones in Friends. One day he just told me that we should not message each other as often as before. I was wondering if I did something wrong to him, making him angry with me? Then he said that was because he thought no matter how good he is to me, I will be the wife of some other guy and there is no need to keep close. He knows almost everything about me at college and I also know the girl he fell in love with. We used to study together, go out for shopping and looking for jobs after graduation, I can still remember when I came to Beijing for a interview with his accompany. I always short of money when I come to work in Beijing at the beginning and it was him came to help me out, every time!
I don't know if I have lost him forever, or not?

I make some new friends at work, as well.
Remember one of my old sisters once said that: there is no pure friend relationship between man and woman, they are with you because they want to be your boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't know if this is wrong or not. But, I do want some friends, to get rid of the loneliness, cause my boyfriend was in the troops and we can't see each other for months.
JA was so good to me! He waited for me every time when I worked overtime. He made different kinds of delicious meat because I love meat. We went out playing shuttlecock twice a week because he thought I had to do some excise after a long day of sitting in front of the computer. I know he may had some feelings over me, but I told him all of the military boy seriously several times and he said he just did everything as a friend, even though I am a married woman!
Things changed this autumn after I have been married for seven months, when he met my right-one. I can feel his madness over me, he did't cook any more and went out for lunch everyday, rode like wind passing me, not speak to me even we walk face to face...
I know clearly that I should keep silent. That is his right, he should do whatever he wants to. And I cannot to provoke him, cause he may angry and sad deep in the heart.

Maybe it's not because man and woman don't want to be friends, it's only because people all want to the monopolization, we call that constant in love!

I still wish all my isomerism friends are happy forever, and myself too!
So, let go of the male and female friend relationship stuff, even Monica and Chandler were married, Ross and Rachel at last. Thought, Phoebe and Joey didn't have that marriage thing, it's no doubt they sill like each other!

Just think of the great aspect!

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1楼 2011-01-06 22:50:03

已阅回复此楼关注TA 给TA发消息送TA红花 TA的回帖

yanglinast

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引用回帖:

Originally posted by xuanxuankaoyan at 2011-01-07 10:27:35:
maybe there is no such a condition under that someone could treat you as well as the way you do others. that is extremely normal. we have different life experience and such get different view to th ...

I should be thankful for all your good advice, I took them after reading your post here step by step, but I don't have the courage to ask him out or something. I want to give him some time to relax, to calm down, however I was so worried about he would hate me instead of forgiving me and being friends with me again. I think I shoul wait for a while.

Jiaying asked me, after knowing everything, if I still see him as a good friend. I said yes with no hesitation. I do think him my good friend and I do want him back to my good one. 'Then why don't you do something for him, like treating him as good as before, no matter what he says and acts. And, you should help him if he doesn't do very well at work too. I think he will understand you one day, I think that's a true good friend should and always do.'

I suddenly realized what I was doing before was improper and what I should do in the future. I will talk to him with my good smile and patience. I found, surprisingly, he tried hard as me! We had dinner together last night, my husband and me invited him to my house to make dumplings for him, and I know it's his birthday untill that time. I am not a good friend, I don't know It's his birthday before the day and I seem not care enough about that before. I am so bad! How lucky I was to decide to invite him yesterday!

I don't know if I deal with this well, but I hope so!
I am so thankful that you gave me these advice.