[商家供应] 【原创】CS类文书写作的那些典型误区

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提示：文章皆为原创，我已加入“维权骑士”的版权保护计划，版权所有，未经作者允许禁止转载，违者必究。

我们的初衷是为半DIY的学弟学妹展示优劣文书的差别及其对最终申请造成的巨大影响。

然而案例却频繁被一些团队盗用。

为保护我们的知识产权，从本期开始，只点评原文，不再展示修改后实例。

↓↓申请英国CS类硕士SOP原文节选 ↓↓

During my four-year undergraduate study, I have always put study as my priority.

第一句用词及句型都属于baby language；
为无效语句,这种junk statement在文书修改中属于必删内容。

Although I find it a little challenged to gain a full understanding of the courses at first since it was a completely new domain for me to learn. But I still hold the belief that as long as we want it enough, we can definitely work it out.

存在明显的语法错误及baby language；
属于典型的“只要我XX，就能XX”的flag，注意reviewer非常不喜欢这种立flag的语句，会认为你在浪费他们的阅读时间。如果在陈述的开始几句或几段都是这种内容，会造成他们极差的阅读体验。

I still remember vividly that the first time I came across the C language programming, I couldn’t figure out how the whole program was written out. Thus, I came to search every possible area which were related to this. I bought reference books like the fundamental programming skills and the grammarrules of C. I\'ve devoted plenty of time to do the preview and review of the core courses.

作者希望证明自己解决问题的能力，但所举例子只展现自己的reading ability，此能力是属于谁都可以具有的，无法体现自己的特殊性；
没有说明自己如何解决具体的某一个问题，切忌笼统的“我学习了，我提高了，我很开心”这类的表述。

Within several class, I managed to develop a simple calculating system all by myself when the others were still trying to master the basic law of the C program.

没有说明如何开发，开发的成果如何利于自己或者团队，造成什么影响；
切忌与他人进行比较，reviewer非常反感的一点。

Besides, I’m kind of a perfectionist.

这种自立flag的语句应直接删除。

It was in the Internet technology and application class, our teacher made an assignment of making a piece of film about life experiences.

非常奇怪且不可取的句型，reviewer更喜欢straight forward的表达。

A bunch of my classmates choose to make a perfunctory effort because of the limited time. While I decided since we have to complete it, why not do our best? So I spend a whole day sitting in front of my laptop to make a delicate animation.

又是与他人比较凸显自己的能力，要不得；
反问式语句要不得；
最后一句仍然存在无法显示自己能力的问题，这种hard-working是谁都可以具有的；
本文中没有一个实例可以证明自身独特能力。

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