As a person who has harbored the dream of going abroad since entering the university, I didn\\\'t have quite a clear mind of where I should go and why I must do this. I just wonder what the world outside looks like and will that kind of life be very different?
I take the view that one thing my parents have passed on to me is the faith that a person should focus his/her attention and passion on one thing to be outstanding at a profession. This explains the reason why I devoted myself wholly and thoroughly to studying every subject. And I am very proud to say that my perspirations were perfectly paid off for I got gratifying scores on these subjects. For instance, I got 96% on A, 91% on B, 87% on C, and also an 87% on D. What\\\'s more, I was the project host of D, which has now passed the national project approval, and is one of the only two national academic projects. I got very much inspired by the contents illustrated by the knowledgeable professors and lecturers in my studies, and yielded plenty of thoughts and ideas, so I wrote a number of dissertations toconvey them. Among which are the published ones such as E; F; G and H.
During the first and second year at college, I spent all the time merely on study and got no idea what doing research means. While In the third year, I happened to meet a professor in my department, who latterly became the most influential person on my way of studying abroad. I was asked to do some simple experiments in hydrogen storage materials. After doing much initial work in this field, we got a chance to apply for a provincial-level research project. We worked so hard on preparing the application. During this process, I gradually grew interested in this study field, which, in my mind, may change the whole social energy system in the future. We finally applied for the project successfully and I was selected to be the team leader in the research group. We worked on that project for nearly one year. Though the work was simple, it is totally original and we got some creative results when the project ended. The most important is that I got obsessed in asking questions and coming up with new ideas. Especially when some obstacles were overcome, I felt greatlyaccomplished. That was the feeling I\\\'ve never had before. When my professor Jiang recommended me to pursue a PhD program in University of Tennessee-Knoxville, I was more than excited at first, while after considerable thinking, I finally refused his recommendation kindly. For one thing, I know I\\\'m still not ready. For another, I firmly believe I\\\'m more than that.
3.对于interest/research experience/internship等问题的阐述时，仅仅陈列过程，体会，收获，而没有solid evidence支撑，是文书忌讳之首！
I came to XX in 2012 to get more research experience. Additionally, unlike my former university, it is much easier to find people harboring the same dream as me. My study field in SJTU, without question, is still XX. During the last nearly 2 years here, I met many obstacles in both life and research. I\\\'m always at wits\\\' end and cannot find a reason to further my research, let alone to study abroad. While I was always telling myself “That’s alright, just keep calm and carry on.”I got through those valleys, and now I have three papers published in a prestigious journal of my field as the first, third and fourth author, respectively. More importantly, I realize what I boast in scientific research now is more than interest. I just enjoy coming up with creative ideas and making breakthroughs in the hydrogen materials or technology. Maybe, one day I will truly change the worldly energy system and make some real differences for the world. Who knows?
Then why study in UK? As many may wonder. Well, it is a long story to tell but I’d like to make things shorter. I have received the idea of developing myself as a whole person since at very young age. So, from the first year of my university life on I have traveled to many countries, such as the UK, Holland and other parts in Europe, to see the big world. During my trips, I met and talked with countless western people, felt
various great cultures and I was deeply touched by English education when in the UK. I was being enormously amazed by how different it can be between China and the West in terms of perspectives of education. I thirsted for owning a chance to experience different academic cultures. Coincidentally my sister is also studying in UK and from her I heard about many beautiful elements of this grand metropolis. I am longing for witnessing the A, B, C and D. From the deep bottom of my heart, dear UK, please take me, like a gracious teacher takes a thirst-for-learning student. I shall be all prepared to dance on this splendid international stage!
Apart from the fancy energy self-sufficient world dipicted in science fictions, I hold the belief that building a novel energy-based society is achievable in the foreseeable future. In recent years, scientific breakthroughs have contributed to hydrogen fuel cell vehicles, solar powered mobile phones and direct thermal-to-electrical energy conversion systems, which were all beyond our imagination decades ago. Since fiction is metamorphosing into reality swiftly, with the hope that I could fully participate in this transformation, I initiated my journey into the exploration of energy materials at XX University. My long-term goal is to become an expert in energy field, especially energy harvesting, storage and conversion.
1.语言流畅，思路清晰，词汇适当，grammar error free
My excellent performance in major courses won me the very first opportunity to be part of a province-level research project, which focused on A. Motivated by the possibilities of this undertaking, I fully immersed myself in. I spent literally the entire day conducting experiments via different testing apparatuses and running various preparation and characterization methods. The valuable research experience enlightened me that besides precision required in sample preparation and property characterization, the beauty of research lies in the mechanism revelation. I also had a first bite of novel energy storage field, especially A, which plays a critical role in the full implementation of B.
1.主体部分直接过渡到first academic experience，无trash内容
2.用solid evidence支撑interest/research experience/internship，是文书必备要素之首
3.用first academic experience中的inspiration作为motivation自然过渡到 next academic experience
Desired to level up my expertise in certain field, I pursued graduate studies in an advanced XX research lab at XX University. As a research assistant, I seized every opportunity to enhance my research capability. When the A apparatus was introduced into our lab, I volunteered to assemble and manage the equipment, which afforded me a clear view of its mechanisms. Therefore, when the group encountered issues related to the morphology of particles produced by the apparatus, I proposed to alter the reaction current and inner atmosphere, which significantly improved the sample quality. Meanwhile, during the A analysis of B, I observed a general left-shifting of peaks in the C, which was ignored in the weekly reports. Similar results after repeated experiments prompted me to rule out instrument errors as the cause. After a careful lattice constant calculation, I confirmed that this unnoticeable shifting was caused by the D. My critical thinking and rigorous attitude strengthened my competence, and I was given the go signal to start my independent research.
2.通过solid evidence证明abilities/skills来solve specific problems,是文书必备要素之二
3.通过solid evidence证明abilities/skills给自己/团队/课题组 bring concrete benefits，是文书必备要素之三
5.再次利用former experience中的accomplishment作为motivation自然过渡到 next academic experience
To convince my supervisor of the feasibility of choosing XX as my research topic, I spent two months preparing a comprehensive research proposal. After I commenced my experiments, everything went smoothly until an A emerged during the B and blocked the C. For two weeks, this puzzle lingered. I consulted with several professors and carefully studied their suggestions. As I had developed the habit of documenting my ideas immediately, I reviewed every note until I realized that the unknown D actually originated from E. The relationship was later proved through a simulation and presented in a published paper (I was first author). This discovery, which was the deciding factor in the quality of my independent research, has shown that persistence in thinking and refusal to surrender to challenges are the keys to success. Emboldened by my accomplishment, I continued my independent research on the E, a key point in its application. After successfully achieving F, as first author, I submitted another original paper.
1.同样，对于另外一段academic experience, 使用了solid evidenceabilities/skills如何solve specific problems, 且bring concrete benefits
2.对于第三段acadmeic experience, 简单带过，作为supporting information
The Department of X at X has long been dedicated to developing innovative solutions to the world’s most pressing challenges in X fields. Your professors and students are committed to looking for possible sources of alternative energy while making current ones more sustainable, an endeavor that parallels my vision. There are over eight prominent professors who stay at the forefront of studying A, B and C. Working with them would equip me with both subject-specific knowledge and integrative understanding across a variety of energy issues. In addition, X’s research centers, especially the A, promote energy innovations by providing university-wide interdisciplinary research and national or international collaborations. Therefore, I will have more access to academic exchanges and cross-university facilities to maximize my success. I believe that with my previous excellent research background, which proved me a broadly educated and highly adaptable person, I am a promising candidate for your esteemed program.
4.这些prof/course/subject/resources如何助力你的long and short term goals，是结尾段必备因素之四